Friday, 18 February 2011

Trial By Algorithm

Mutatis Mutandis can now be found - here.

'After reviewing our records, we've determined that your AdSense account
poses a risk of generating invalid activity.'

Blegh. Not the best email to wake up to. Apparently my blogs have been generating illegal ad revenue, despite never encouraging or soliciting people to click adverts in any way, so my adsense account has been disabled and the meagre revenue I'd been trying for the last year to build to the point where they actually pay out has been wiped. Which sucks.

Its also strange, in that I got nerd rage when they changed my email address, but now that they've nicked £20 off me I couldn't care less. I'm just going to take my ball and go to wordpress which, while not paying ad revenue either, doesn't make you feel like a criminal while not doing it.

It also has the added benefit of not looking and functioning like a pile of crap.

Sorry for the inconvenience of this. I hope I'll see you over there.


Tuesday, 15 February 2011

Final Poll Results and New Poll

The final results are in. Thanks to everyone who voted.

Your favourite TF
Gender: 12 (23%)
Animal: 6 (11%)
Inanimate: 49 (94%)
Other: 4 (7%)

A new poll is also up.  Would people prefer it if I spit the blog into seperate blogs focusing on a particular type of transformation i.e. a blog for inanimate TF and a blog for animal TF?

Miss Dee Rection

This bodysuit is amazing. Nobody would ever guess that inside this flexible body is an overweight 50-year old man.
After my arthritis got so bad that I had to start using this suit full time, the hardest part was having to relearn all my old tricks. Guys weren't intimidated by this body anymore but they easily underestimated me. Even after I hustled them they never realised it, or if they did they never seemed to mind.
Having their eyes on me and not the game works great too, and II'm always finding new ways to draw their gaze. This is one of my favourites. Judging by the cue stick in the front of my opponent's trousers I think it's working.

Monday, 14 February 2011

Bra Hero

Bra: Ungh... babe...this is...amazing but... I think you made me too small...I can't contain feels like I'm going to explode...
Mandy: Shush! Bra's are supposed to be supportive, not complain all the time!
Mandy: Great, now you made me break my multiplier! I'm not turning you back for atleast another song.
*volume up*
Bra: Nghh...

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Grrrrr! Ramblerambleramble

Warning! Angry rant follows...

The Bachelor Party

"Guys, I said no strippers," Jeff laughed as his friends tied him to the table. "If Mary found out she'd..."
His voice and his laughter trailed off as his best man brought into a room not a stripper, but a can of pink spray paint. As they coated his body with it, he felt his skin thicken into gaudy, pink plastic and his flesh melt away. In no time at all, he had become a love doll tied to the table in the back room of some seedy club.


It is a bachelor party, he reasoned, as his drunken friends shoved a funnel into his puckered mouth and began to drag a keg of beer over. This sort of stuff is supposed to happen.
The beer began to flow into the funnel; the room swam around his head as his body swelled with alcohol.
I just hope one of them is sober enough in the morning to remember to change me back.

Friday, 11 February 2011

Morning After

You're finally awake! Quite a party last night, huh? You're the last to leave.
The costume? Well after I caught you boning my girlfriend in my bed I dumped her and you were so drunk you fell asleep. So I upgraded you. You're her replacement.
Did I say you were the last to leave? Silly me. The suit restricts your movements the closer you get to the door. Take one step outside and it renders you totally immobile.
Anyway I've got some spare organs left over from your upgrade. Be a good gynoid and flush those for me? Thanks. After that there's some dishes that need cleaning. And after that I think I'll take your new chassis out for a test drive.

Tuesday, 8 February 2011

Lazy Unseasonal Transformation Happy Fun Time!

I have to say that I'm being royally trounced in terms of both quality and reliability of content by the amazing writer of TF Captions, not to mention the excellent user-submitted captions over on Purse Boy. Yet I cant say I don't enjoy them massively, and I'll take inspiration/steal ideas wherever I can.

This week has been hectic, so here is another story that I'm repossessing from my distant past. This is starting to feel like graverobbing myself. I hope that by friday my mojo will be back and I'll be able to write something new, if not necesarilly original.

Going Cold Turkey

As a Witch, Wanda was quite capable of brewing glory, bottling fame, and even putting a stopper in death. But she couldn't, for the life of her, cook Christmas dinner for friends without cremating and mutilating half of a farm. She glared in frustration at the assemblage of burnt, undercooked, and/or oddly shaped dishes laid out on the table before her and knew, with her guests arriving at any minute, she was going to have to play her ace in the hole.

After last year's Christmas dinner disaster, she'd taken time out to master a spell that was capable of making a feast out of anything. Closing her eyes, she sank into a deep, spellcasting trance.

Girly Salads

Today's post features a caption kindly donated by Gugubu, as I'm a too tired to throw anything together in even a slop bucket way

Sunday, 6 February 2011

In the doghouse

It doesn't matter how much you beg, George, no means no. You're not sleeping on the bed tonight, or ever again for that matter. It was a nasty trick you pulled using my spell book to swap bodies with the dog without telling me. How did you think I would feel when I found out the man I just had amazing sex with used to be an animal. Did you think I'd laugh?

But you didn't expect that Lucky would make a better husband than you ever were. He's so doting and obediant, and he's even starting to learn a few words. In the bedroom he's loving and caring, not to mention energetic.

And since you can't speak the reversal spell with your dog mouth, that's the way life is going to stay. So be a good boy and go to your kennel. It sounds like Lucky is back from his walk, and I think he's about to get "lucky".

"There's something you should know about me"

This isn't a post as such, but I wanted to try uploading a video to youtube as I'm considering having a go at video editing, like TG tales. Alas due to a content claim, embedding it in the blog was fail, and it'll probably get removed shortly.
Either way, here's the clip from the film Inception. If you haven't seen it is amazing, and features a brief TG halfway through where an identity forger disguises himself as dream woman within a dream within a dream.

Inception Clip

Friday, 4 February 2011

The Second Rule of Witch Club...

Even as a witch with incredible powers, my sister was always a coward. She wanted to break up with her boyfriend but she didn't have the guts to do it. So she bodyswapped us and told me if I didn't break up with him for her she'd never turn us back. Then she morphed herself into a dress so that she could keep an eye on us.

Waiting at the bar for him to arrive, I tugged awkwardly at the purple dress she had become, feeling massively exposed as I smoothed the tight fabric over my butt. I was started to wish I'd figured out how to put on a bra before coming here. Then I saw him. He was hot. Super hot. As he eyes ran up and down my body in hunger, I knew then that I wanted this body. All it took were a few, simple words whispered into his ear.

"I'm a witch."

The first rule of witch club: You do not talk about witch club. To reveal your powers to a mortal is to forfeight them forever. The entire bar turned as my dress screamed in pain and anger, as its magical powers were stolen from it. It was still cursing me as I left the bar draped over its boyfriend's arm. In all fairness, I had done what she asked; he was no longer her boyfriend. He was mine.

She didn't last long. That night he ripped her to shreds getting to my body. Only then did she finally fall silent.

Fembrace the Future

Figure 4.3
Invented by BodySlim in 2015, the Fembrace bodystocking was one of the earliest examples of today's modern bodysuit. While hardly revolutionary in any particular area, the Fembrace effectively combined full-body application of flesh-like padding and corset-like constriction to contour the form of its wearer, and at a reasonable price. Initially aimed at women, the Fembrace quickly gained notoriety for its remarkable ability to stretch and squeeze even male bodies into its svelt, feminine template (Fig 4.3). A number of high profile court cases filed by individuals tricked by males wearing the garments helped to boost its infamy and sales.

The Fembrace II, released in 2018 after years of secretive development, upgraded the original with a seamless design and flesh-coloured outer layer to more accurately mimic human skin (Fig4.4). The suits also contained an experimental voice modulator, and a deep-penetrating ultrasonic feature that semi-liquidated adipose tissue, allowing fat to be permanently redistributed around the body, which was discontinued after a series of health scares.

Though lacking nervous system integration, extradimensional matter displacement, or even a facial covering, the Fembrace was nevertheless the progenitor of all modern bodysuits. Intact originals are a collectors item and have been sold at auction for up to 1,500,000 Credits.

Thursday, 3 February 2011


Thanks to Vince Ueberroth for being my first follower. The vote of confidence is much appreciated.

Call me when the swelling goes down

The Doctor: What is the meaning of this? I did not give you permission to tamper with my programming! Just because the three of us are flying reconnaissance alone for three weeks is no excuse to swap my code with that of Vulcan love slave, volume two!.

Tom Paris: Great. He still sounds like the Doc. Can't you do anything about the voice?

Ensign Kim: Uhh, no. But I think I can adjust his behavioural subruitines. *beep*

The Doctor: *kneels* Please state the nature of the sexual emergency.

Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Midas Touch


Leonardo Dicapritated

Sorry for the zero caps yesterday; I've been super busy/asleep. To half-arsedly compensate, here are some captions that I threw together three years ago for Yahoo Groups.

They were lazy captions then, and they're doubly lazy captions now.

Monday, 31 January 2011

Public Service Announcement

Thanks to everyone who has voted on the poll. Can't say I was expecting it to slant in favour of inanimate transformations to such a degree, which is fascinating. Honestly, one of the best aspects of a blog is watching all the stats roll in.

It is also really useful as I'm essentially flying blind in terms of what people like. If you have any other suggestions, requests, or complants, feel free to post them in the Requests page.

Also sorry for the shitty cherry pun. I'm not even sure if it makes sense.

In a (c)hairy situation

After finding an alien device capable of rewriting a person's DNA, the first thing I did was use it to turn myself into a duplicate of the school bitch, Kim. I wanted to see what it was like on the other side of the gender fence. Immediately I knew I never wanted to leave this body. It was so sensitive and sensual. I found an instant craving for ice cream.
The device also helped me take care of the original. The expression on her face when I confronted her in her own body nd her cheeks bloated with cherry juice is one I'll happilly take to her grave.
I've saved her till last. I hope she's sweeter in this life than she was in the last.

Shelf life II

This creep couldn't wait to get me home. Nothing I say affects him. When I told him I'm a guy that just made him more excited, and now that he knows if he uses me I'll be trapped this way forever he's racing to get naked. What a dick. If I was still a man I'd tear him a new love hole.

Here he comes. *gulp* Wh-what a dick! I hope my girlfriend gets here soon or I won't be a "beginner" love doll for much longer.

Shelf life

Look, Sir, this is probably breaking the Magician's Code or some bullshit, but I'm only up here because my girlfriend transformed me. It was a joke. She works here and if you'll just wait for her to get back from her dinner break-

Yes, I know I've got a price tag, but that doesn't mean I'm for sale! Wouldn't you rather have the JennaBustin model? Please.

What do you mean you like my audio feature?! That's not a feature! Put me down!

Saturday, 29 January 2011

The flipside of TF relations

Marie: I think that couple over there are starting to think I've been stood up.
Panties: Let them. I've had a wonderful anniversary, honey.
Marie: Me too. Do you remember our first date here?
Panties: How could I ever forget. You wore that little black dress...
Marie: And you were that little black dress...

Learn your (fire)place

It still makes me laugh after all these years. When we were married, you never had the time to keep me warm at night, and now that's all you do, your only purpose. Well, you and Darren. The man I made love to on the rug in front of you last night. Do you remember him? My fiance?

Do you remember anything? Of ever being human? Its been so long, I wonder if your mind hasn't completely gone yet. That I might just be talking to a fireplace. I wonder if you regret never paying me enough attention.

I hope so.

[As thought up by by Kathy3107]

Mass Effect

[It's rather hard to find a picture of a male Quarian having his flu jabs, so sorry about no before-pictures. Its also rather hard to find a picture of an Asari with her clothes on, but I did. For the sake of not taking up the blog with a big block of text, I'm sticking a jump break in.]
"Of course , I've had Quarians put themselves forward for this before. But I wanted a male, and a strong one. He leaned closer to peer through the visor that seperated me from the world. "You realise this may kill you."

Thursday, 27 January 2011


Rebecca: I can't believe this. One small shopping trip with the girls and two flat tyres. Mandy, it looks like you rolled on a nail.
Mandy: Owie. Becky, I don't think I wan't to be a spare tyre any more. The puncture hurts and the spinning is making me sick. Please please turn me back.
Rebecca: But we're only half-way home. We'll just have to patch you up and refill you. Open wide!

Mandy: But! - mmhr mhhh mrhmuh!
Rebecca: Okay, now that you can't yell at me I've got some bad news. That puncture means that my magic won't work on you. I can't turn you back. I'm so sorry.
Clara: At least your kids can have a great tyre swing.
Mandy: Mmhrmm!
Rebecca: I don't think that's helping.

[Idea by Greg]

Piece of cake

Samantha whimpered as the knife slid into her body. She had meant to be a suprise for her boyfriend on his birthday - as the last candle was blown out she would suddenly transform back and leap into his arms. But one candle had remained burning and now, as eager mouths gathered around brandishing knives and plates, the only suprise she would be giving him was just how sweet she was.

For Science

For comparison, this is Kari in Jamie's body after six hours on the Orgasmotron.

This week on Mythbusters

Adam: This week, attempting to test the myth that female orgasms are stronger male orgasms, we custom built our own brain-swapper and jury rigged Buster with a vibrator. Jamie has spent three hours in Kari's body and two hours with Buster (AKA. The Orgasmotron) and... there he is now.

Adam: Whoa. Is that a smile? I think this Myth is officially Confirmed.

Tuesday, 25 January 2011

Angry Girlfriend Request

Reed Richards looked on the Baxter building with relief, his body visibly sagging as the months of tension lifted. It had been four months since the dastardly Doctor Doom had used an alien device to bodyswap himself with Reed, imprisoning the Superhero in the dank dungeon of his Latverian castle. Imprisoning him in that abominably metal-clad body as he stole Reed's life.

But during one of Doom's return visits to his beloved Latveria, Reed had escaped his prison, defeated Doom, and used the alien device to reclaim his body. Now he was home to reclaim his life.

Monday, 24 January 2011

Totally R.A.D.

Lucy: Thanks for helping me design the Reality Alteration Device, big brother, and for being the first test subject.
Bra: To be honest I didn't even think it would work. But I'm totally a bra now!
Lucy: Not just 'now'. The RAD changes all of reality so this is what you've always been. Mum doesn't even remember you. The man you were never existed.
Bra: Whoa. Kinda creepy. So what's the world like without me?
Lucy: Well, I got your bedroom. And mum and dad seem much happier. And that scar on my arm from where you pushed me off my bike when I was 5 is gone. Oh, and in this reality I never promised my brother that I'd turn him back straight away.
Bra: What? But-
Lucy: Actually in this reality I never promised my brother I'd turn him back at all. Enjoy the next few years holding up my boobs. The world is so much better without you.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

"Always bring a banana to a party."

Kate: Hehe. I can't wait until Jason sees me tonight. I look good enough to eat.
Sarah: Not yet you don't... *ziiip*
Kate: Huh? Hey! I cant move my arms! W-when did you get so big? P-put me down!
Sarah: I can't just leave a little banana lying around on the floor. Somebody could step on you.
Kate: I'm not a ban- wait, you did this! You swapped my costume for a banana bodysuit! You bitch! Take it off now! No, not like thaaaAARRRHH!

Sarah: Now you look good enough to eat... But I think I'll let you chill in the freezer first. Anyway, I gotta split; the guests'll be here soon and I'm not even in costume yet. Wish me luck with Jason tonight. He's so appealing.

Friday, 21 January 2011

Collared by the cops

 Chief Inspector Richard Crawford scratched his tired eyes and looked at the clock. 11:34pm. What a day...

14 hours ago, his men, working alongside agents from the BTFC, stormed the headquarters of one of the largest of London's crime rings. What they found had shocked and confounded them all.

The criminals had been taking animals - dogs, cats, rats -, stuffing them inside illegally imported female bodysuits, and sealing them up. The zippers had all been ripped off, melted, whatever. Then the poor creatures had been sold into prostitution.

It got worse. The ringleader and his two bodyguards had enter the building. When they broke down the doors to arrest him it had been bedlam - women shrieking like animals, climbing the curtains and furniture, biting and scratching - and by the time the situation was under control the ringleader was gone. The place was surrounded, he couldn't have escaped, but he and his bodyguards were just gone.

Crawford stared at the fifty one mugshots splayed out on his desk, and the fifty one bodysuits stared back at him with placid, animal expressions. He'd wager his badge that forty eight of them contained nothing more than traumatised, terrified animals. But the other three...

"Think I got everything you asked for, Chief," Constable Charles gasped, as she stepped into his office carrying a heavy box. "Hard to find a pet shop open at this time though." She dumped it on his desk. The smell of bones, meat, and old leather filled the room. A thick, studded collar and leash dangled over the side of the box.

"Good work, Constable. That'll be all."

His eyes shifted from the dog leash, back to the mugshots, and settled on a brunette in a pink, shoulderless dress, wearing a distinctly human smirk on her face. That one. He'd start with that one.

A warning from the Bureau of Transformation Control

The BTFC would like to once again remind you that the transformation of humans for the purpose of transport is illegal. We would also like to remind you that ex-humans detected in luggage may be confiscated and can be held as evidence for up to four years. The BTFC will not be held responsible for any ex-humans lost, damaged, or worn during this time. If found guilty of transporting or smuggling transformed humans, you may face a prison sentence of up to 10 years.

We would also like to stress the risks present in using transformation technology or magic in this way. If using time-sensitive automatic-reversal morphs, be aware that flight delays can leave loved ones trapped mid-flight, potentially resulting in injury and death.

If you have any ex-humans to declare, please speak to a member of your cabin crew immediately, and they will be dealt with accordingly.

TF smart. TF safe.

- The Bureau of Transformation Control

TF Blog Go!

I figured I'd try my hand at writing a blog focused on transformation.

Hope you enjoy.