Midas Touch

Braternity

Shelf life II

This creep couldn't wait to get me home. Nothing I say affects him. When I told him I'm a guy that just made him more excited, and now that he knows if he uses me I'll be trapped this way forever he's racing to get naked. What a dick. If I was still a man I'd tear him a new love hole.

Here he comes. *gulp* Wh-what a dick! I hope my girlfriend gets here soon or I won't be a "beginner" love doll for much longer.

Shelf life

Look, Sir, this is probably breaking the Magician's Code or some bullshit, but I'm only up here because my girlfriend transformed me. It was a joke. She works here and if you'll just wait for her to get back from her dinner break-

Yes, I know I've got a price tag, but that doesn't mean I'm for sale! Wouldn't you rather have the JennaBustin model? Please.

What do you mean you like my audio feature?! That's not a feature! Put me down!

Learn your (fire)place

It still makes me laugh after all these years. When we were married, you never had the time to keep me warm at night, and now that's all you do, your only purpose. Well, you and Darren. The man I made love to on the rug in front of you last night. Do you remember him? My fiance?

Do you remember anything? Of ever being human? Its been so long, I wonder if your mind hasn't completely gone yet. That I might just be talking to a fireplace. I wonder if you regret never paying me enough attention.

I hope so.

[As thought up by by Kathy3107]

Tyred

Rebecca: I can't believe this. One small shopping trip with the girls and two flat tyres. Mandy, it looks like you rolled on a nail.
Mandy: Owie. Becky, I don't think I wan't to be a spare tyre any more. The puncture hurts and the spinning is making me sick. Please please turn me back.
Rebecca: But we're only half-way home. We'll just have to patch you up and refill you. Open wide!

Mandy: But! - mmhr mhhh mrhmuh!
Rebecca: Okay, now that you can't yell at me I've got some bad news. That puncture means that my magic won't work on you. I can't turn you back. I'm so sorry.
Clara: At least your kids can have a great tyre swing.
Mandy: Mmhrmm!
Rebecca: I don't think that's helping.

[Idea by Greg]

Piece of cake

Samantha whimpered as the knife slid into her body. She had meant to be a suprise for her boyfriend on his birthday - as the last candle was blown out she would suddenly transform back and leap into his arms. But one candle had remained burning and now, as eager mouths gathered around brandishing knives and plates, the only suprise she would be giving him was just how sweet she was.

Totally R.A.D.

Lucy: Thanks for helping me design the Reality Alteration Device, big brother, and for being the first test subject.
Bra: To be honest I didn't even think it would work. But I'm totally a bra now!
Lucy: Not just 'now'. The RAD changes all of reality so this is what you've always been. Mum doesn't even remember you. The man you were never existed.
Bra: Whoa. Kinda creepy. So what's the world like without me?
Lucy: Well, I got your bedroom. And mum and dad seem much happier. And that scar on my arm from where you pushed me off my bike when I was 5 is gone. Oh, and in this reality I never promised my brother that I'd turn him back straight away.
Bra: What? But-
Lucy: Actually in this reality I never promised my brother I'd turn him back at all. Enjoy the next few years holding up my boobs. The world is so much better without you.

A warning from the Bureau of Transformation Control

The BTFC would like to once again remind you that the transformation of humans for the purpose of transport is illegal. We would also like to remind you that ex-humans detected in luggage may be confiscated and can be held as evidence for up to four years. The BTFC will not be held responsible for any ex-humans lost, damaged, or worn during this time. If found guilty of transporting or smuggling transformed humans, you may face a prison sentence of up to 10 years.

We would also like to stress the risks present in using transformation technology or magic in this way. If using time-sensitive automatic-reversal morphs, be aware that flight delays can leave loved ones trapped mid-flight, potentially resulting in injury and death.

If you have any ex-humans to declare, please speak to a member of your cabin crew immediately, and they will be dealt with accordingly.

TF smart. TF safe.

- The Bureau of Transformation Control