Bra Hero

Bra: Ungh... babe...this is...amazing but... I think you made me too small...I can't contain you...it feels like I'm going to explode...
Mandy: Shush! Bra's are supposed to be supportive, not complain all the time!
Bra: But...it...hurts...
Mandy: Great, now you made me break my multiplier! I'm not turning you back for atleast another song.
*volume up*
Bra: Nghh...

The Bachelor Party

"Guys, I said no strippers," Jeff laughed as his friends tied him to the table. "If Mary found out she'd..."
His voice and his laughter trailed off as his best man brought into a room not a stripper, but a can of pink spray paint. As they coated his body with it, he felt his skin thicken into gaudy, pink plastic and his flesh melt away. In no time at all, he had become a love doll tied to the table in the back room of some seedy club.

 

It is a bachelor party, he reasoned, as his drunken friends shoved a funnel into his puckered mouth and began to drag a keg of beer over. This sort of stuff is supposed to happen.
The beer began to flow into the funnel; the room swam around his head as his body swelled with alcohol.
I just hope one of them is sober enough in the morning to remember to change me back.

Lazy Unseasonal Transformation Happy Fun Time!

I have to say that I'm being royally trounced in terms of both quality and reliability of content by the amazing writer of TF Captions, not to mention the excellent user-submitted captions over on Purse Boy. Yet I cant say I don't enjoy them massively, and I'll take inspiration/steal ideas wherever I can.

This week has been hectic, so here is another story that I'm repossessing from my distant past. This is starting to feel like graverobbing myself. I hope that by friday my mojo will be back and I'll be able to write something new, if not necesarilly original.

Going Cold Turkey

As a Witch, Wanda was quite capable of brewing glory, bottling fame, and even putting a stopper in death. But she couldn't, for the life of her, cook Christmas dinner for friends without cremating and mutilating half of a farm. She glared in frustration at the assemblage of burnt, undercooked, and/or oddly shaped dishes laid out on the table before her and knew, with her guests arriving at any minute, she was going to have to play her ace in the hole.

After last year's Christmas dinner disaster, she'd taken time out to master a spell that was capable of making a feast out of anything. Closing her eyes, she sank into a deep, spellcasting trance.

Girly Salads

Today's post features a caption kindly donated by Gugubu, as I'm a too tired to throw anything together in even a slop bucket way

The Second Rule of Witch Club...

Even as a witch with incredible powers, my sister was always a coward. She wanted to break up with her boyfriend but she didn't have the guts to do it. So she bodyswapped us and told me if I didn't break up with him for her she'd never turn us back. Then she morphed herself into a dress so that she could keep an eye on us.

Waiting at the bar for him to arrive, I tugged awkwardly at the purple dress she had become, feeling massively exposed as I smoothed the tight fabric over my butt. I was started to wish I'd figured out how to put on a bra before coming here. Then I saw him. He was hot. Super hot. As he eyes ran up and down my body in hunger, I knew then that I wanted this body. All it took were a few, simple words whispered into his ear.

"I'm a witch."

The first rule of witch club: You do not talk about witch club. To reveal your powers to a mortal is to forfeight them forever. The entire bar turned as my dress screamed in pain and anger, as its magical powers were stolen from it. It was still cursing me as I left the bar draped over its boyfriend's arm. In all fairness, I had done what she asked; he was no longer her boyfriend. He was mine.

She didn't last long. That night he ripped her to shreds getting to my body. Only then did she finally fall silent.

Midas Touch

Braternity

Leonardo Dicapritated

Sorry for the zero caps yesterday; I've been super busy/asleep. To half-arsedly compensate, here are some captions that I threw together three years ago for Yahoo Groups.

They were lazy captions then, and they're doubly lazy captions now.

In a (c)hairy situation

After finding an alien device capable of rewriting a person's DNA, the first thing I did was use it to turn myself into a duplicate of the school bitch, Kim. I wanted to see what it was like on the other side of the gender fence. Immediately I knew I never wanted to leave this body. It was so sensitive and sensual. I found an instant craving for ice cream.
The device also helped me take care of the original. The expression on her face when I confronted her in her own body nd her cheeks bloated with cherry juice is one I'll happilly take to her grave.
I've saved her till last. I hope she's sweeter in this life than she was in the last.

Shelf life II

This creep couldn't wait to get me home. Nothing I say affects him. When I told him I'm a guy that just made him more excited, and now that he knows if he uses me I'll be trapped this way forever he's racing to get naked. What a dick. If I was still a man I'd tear him a new love hole.

Here he comes. *gulp* Wh-what a dick! I hope my girlfriend gets here soon or I won't be a "beginner" love doll for much longer.

Shelf life

Look, Sir, this is probably breaking the Magician's Code or some bullshit, but I'm only up here because my girlfriend transformed me. It was a joke. She works here and if you'll just wait for her to get back from her dinner break-

Yes, I know I've got a price tag, but that doesn't mean I'm for sale! Wouldn't you rather have the JennaBustin model? Please.

What do you mean you like my audio feature?! That's not a feature! Put me down!

The flipside of TF relations

Marie: I think that couple over there are starting to think I've been stood up.
Panties: Let them. I've had a wonderful anniversary, honey.
Marie: Me too. Do you remember our first date here?
Panties: How could I ever forget. You wore that little black dress...
Marie: And you were that little black dress...

Learn your (fire)place

It still makes me laugh after all these years. When we were married, you never had the time to keep me warm at night, and now that's all you do, your only purpose. Well, you and Darren. The man I made love to on the rug in front of you last night. Do you remember him? My fiance?

Do you remember anything? Of ever being human? Its been so long, I wonder if your mind hasn't completely gone yet. That I might just be talking to a fireplace. I wonder if you regret never paying me enough attention.

I hope so.

[As thought up by by Kathy3107]

Tyred

Rebecca: I can't believe this. One small shopping trip with the girls and two flat tyres. Mandy, it looks like you rolled on a nail.
Mandy: Owie. Becky, I don't think I wan't to be a spare tyre any more. The puncture hurts and the spinning is making me sick. Please please turn me back.
Rebecca: But we're only half-way home. We'll just have to patch you up and refill you. Open wide!

Mandy: But! - mmhr mhhh mrhmuh!
Rebecca: Okay, now that you can't yell at me I've got some bad news. That puncture means that my magic won't work on you. I can't turn you back. I'm so sorry.
Clara: At least your kids can have a great tyre swing.
Mandy: Mmhrmm!
Rebecca: I don't think that's helping.

[Idea by Greg]

Piece of cake

Samantha whimpered as the knife slid into her body. She had meant to be a suprise for her boyfriend on his birthday - as the last candle was blown out she would suddenly transform back and leap into his arms. But one candle had remained burning and now, as eager mouths gathered around brandishing knives and plates, the only suprise she would be giving him was just how sweet she was.

Angry Girlfriend Request

Reed Richards looked on the Baxter building with relief, his body visibly sagging as the months of tension lifted. It had been four months since the dastardly Doctor Doom had used an alien device to bodyswap himself with Reed, imprisoning the Superhero in the dank dungeon of his Latverian castle. Imprisoning him in that abominably metal-clad body as he stole Reed's life.

But during one of Doom's return visits to his beloved Latveria, Reed had escaped his prison, defeated Doom, and used the alien device to reclaim his body. Now he was home to reclaim his life.

Totally R.A.D.

Lucy: Thanks for helping me design the Reality Alteration Device, big brother, and for being the first test subject.
Bra: To be honest I didn't even think it would work. But I'm totally a bra now!
Lucy: Not just 'now'. The RAD changes all of reality so this is what you've always been. Mum doesn't even remember you. The man you were never existed.
Bra: Whoa. Kinda creepy. So what's the world like without me?
Lucy: Well, I got your bedroom. And mum and dad seem much happier. And that scar on my arm from where you pushed me off my bike when I was 5 is gone. Oh, and in this reality I never promised my brother that I'd turn him back straight away.
Bra: What? But-
Lucy: Actually in this reality I never promised my brother I'd turn him back at all. Enjoy the next few years holding up my boobs. The world is so much better without you.

"Always bring a banana to a party."

Kate: Hehe. I can't wait until Jason sees me tonight. I look good enough to eat.
Sarah: Not yet you don't... *ziiip*
Kate: Huh? Hey! I cant move my arms! W-when did you get so big? P-put me down!
Sarah: I can't just leave a little banana lying around on the floor. Somebody could step on you.
Kate: I'm not a ban- wait, you did this! You swapped my costume for a banana bodysuit! You bitch! Take it off now! No, not like thaaaAARRRHH!

Sarah: Now you look good enough to eat... But I think I'll let you chill in the freezer first. Anyway, I gotta split; the guests'll be here soon and I'm not even in costume yet. Wish me luck with Jason tonight. He's so appealing.